viernes 26 de marzo de 2004 4:39:00 AM missing you ~ imajin
can't stop missing you :(
almost 5 am & i haven't slept a wink yet. i just feel so lonely. chap & i are technically still together, but not quite. it was our 20th monthsary yesterday but it wasn't a happy one at all.
everything's different now. something changed. i'm cold & withdrawn. i've shut my heart in a box, trying to appear strong. fake nonchalance. inside, i am weak & scared. will love suffice to bridge the gap between us? i fear that it's too late.
i cried while watching hulk on dvd. the movie showed love so great, it overwhelmed me. & i felt envy crush my heart when he said you found me.
chap, please find me. before i get lost completely. :(
lunes 22 de marzo de 2004 11:55:00 AM the man i was with you ~ jimmy bondoc
monday morning. a paper hanging over my head. a book overdue at the library. a response letter for my org about 3 jeepney rides away. 10 more pounds to lose. & after everything, i still think of chap. how are we ever going to pick up the pieces when i'm just not the same?
yesterday was all wrong. i waited the whole day for his call on my celly (which he promised to do the night before). it didn't happen. & when he finally sent me a text message of his whereabouts, i replied "i don't care!" but i do, don't i? 0_0
sábado 20 de marzo de 2004 10:12:00 AM rainbow ~ south border
there's a rainbow always after the rain
CESC, i lost. oh well. she'll have a big critic then - me! nonetheless, i'm still volunteering because i'm not going to abandon my council. they're my friends & i'm here for them. Ü on the lighter side of things, i just have to finish one more paper & then i'll officially be on my summer vacation. err, graduating? me? not yet. yikes. it's all good though because i'm not worried about my future. i know i'll do well.
tomorrow marks my 3rd week anniversary of chap-lessness. that's 21 frigging days! unbelievable. so close, so far. this is definitely the longest time i've been away from my him. limited text messages, hurried phone calls, & absolutely no face-to-face interaction. i miss him but i'm almost getting used to a life without him. this wasn't the relationship i wanted when i fell in love with him. i could definitely do without the pain. sob.
domingo 14 de marzo de 2004 11:01:00 PM suga suga ~ baby bash feat. frankie j.
HOW EVER DID I GET THIS FLY? haha. Ü anyway, i spent the afternoon in UPdil. pweh. ang init-init. although i did learn a lot about SB 2587.
hayyy! masaya & malungkot maging politically aware pero i think ang importante is that we should all be aware because we live in this country. naiintindihan ko na nga yung mga tibak eh. it's not like gusto ko mamundok or something pero ayoko na maging ignorante. sa totoo lang, magaganda yung mga pinaglalaban nung mga nagra-rally echos-echos. kapag pinalabas lang kasi sa media, parang nanggugulo lang yung mga nagra-rally as if walang law na nagsasabi na may right yung mga tao mag-protest. hmmm, baka makita niyo na ako sa TV some other time - "huwag matakot, makibaka!" haha. nyer. Ü
viernes 12 de marzo de 2004 12:36:00 PM hey mama ~ black eyed peas
an early summer layout! really can't wait for the summer vacation to start. hehe. anyway, i've been in a better mood lately. i wonder why. hmmm, weird thing though... haven't seen chap for two weeks now. we're both busy. oh boo-fucking-hoo!
lunes 8 de marzo de 2004 10:55:00 AM next lifetime ~ erykah badu
i woke up with puffy eyes this morning & decided to skip all my classes for the day. maybe it's hormones but i'm seriously getting frustrated with chap & our relationship. no doubt that i love him but i just feel so neglected & this is really shitty because it happens every week. it's almost routine that i get hurt. :( i know chap doesn't mean for things to be this way but i just don't see why he can't make time for me. it's unfair. whenever he needs me, i'm there. whenever i need him, he has to go check his schedule first. i'm not even asking him to put me on top of his priority list because God knows he already has too many problems but i just want him to be considerate enough to treat me like a girlfriend.
i'm not hard to please. all i need is some attention.
