jueves 27 de mayo de 2004 11:48:00 AM it ain't over til it's over ~ lenny kravitz
here we are still together
we are one
so much time wasted
playing games with love
so many tears i've cried
so much pain inside
but bebe it ain't over til it's over
so many years we've tried
to keep our love alive
but bebe it ain't over til it's over
how many times did we give up
but we always worked things out
& all my doubts and fear
kept me wondering
if i'd always be in love
so many tears i've cried
so much pain inside
but bebe it ain't over til it's over
so many years we've tried
& kept our love alive
cause bebe it ain't over til it's over
last night - frustrated @ big sky e. rodriguez. it was an open mic event. thanks to my cuz cherry for letting me tag along. i had fun. Ü
toni & the chikiboys. toni, the vocalist & my cuz joko, bassist.
cherry & me.
while i was at the said event, chap & i talked on the celly a couple of times. darn it. we still love each other & as the song said, it ain't over til it's over! whatever. i'm confused. i confuse myself sometimes. anyway, i have to go now & meet up with enzo in makati. we're going watch shrek 2. yahoo! Ü
lunes 24 de mayo de 2004 11:32:00 AM moving on ~ inoj
so i'll be floating in the breeze
like the falling leaves
don't look for me cause i'll be moving on
i still love chap. i know i do. it's a reality i have to deal with everyday. adrian told me it's going to take a long while before i'm ready to love again. fact of the matter is, he's right. i can't even let one day slip by without chap inside my mind.
where do i go from here?
i cried after watching my best friend's wedding (again) on axn. julia roberts gave him up to make him happy. that's love. i don't know if i'm brave enough to handle something like that. i'm trying though & it's killing every inch of my being. i'm dying inside even as i type these words down.
sábado 22 de mayo de 2004 8:21:00 PM burn ~ usher
i'm twisted cause one side of me is telling me that i need to move on
on the other side i wanna breakdown & cry
spent yesterday & this morning in baras, rizal with the CESC (student council). we went swimming & sem planning. fun but hella tiring! it was worth it though because i know all our efforts are for a good cause. nuxxx! anyway, before i get some much deserved sleep, allow me to be a little narcissistic. Ü
just got out of the pool & put on my orange top.
the vain witch & her shiny nose!
jueves 20 de mayo de 2004 10:36:00 PM hand in my pocket ~ alanis morissette
& the other one's flicking a cigarette
foolish and forgiving. i tend to be too nice sometimes. maybe this is my karma. after all, i've made horrible choices in my past & i've hurt people i didn't intend to. now, i'm stuck & there's no way out. reality stepped in. the dream has ended. i'm tired of lies. i need to get out & fast. someone tell me what to do. i need a new version of me.
miércoles 19 de mayo de 2004 9:28:00 PM love will lead you back ~ taylor dayne
one of these days our love will lead you back
perpetual bliss. today was a good day. i'm happy. someone picked me up after my summer class. he then went with me to the educ lib to return an overdue book. after which, we went to eastwood. we parked his car, bought movie tickets for the 2:55 show of troy, grabbed a quick bite at tokyo tokyo & then watched the movie. i held his hand. sheer magic. then we bummed for a few more hours together - cig break, lots of good conversation, & tears. Ü oh yeah, i just got home & i went online immediately just to blog about this. haha. excited bitch! it's just that it's been a while since i felt this happy. i wish i could just keep this feeling in a bottle & open it up whenever i'm down. unfortunately, i can't. that's why i'm savoring the sensation now. i'm on a high & loving it.
martes 18 de mayo de 2004 5:41:00 PM miss you ~ aaliyah
is your heart still mine? i wanna cry sometimes
1st monthsary of being single! awww.
SOMEONE BUY ME A BLACK EYED PEAS CONCERT TICKET, please? Ü & oh, i met someone yesterday. cute, almost worth liking. i have yet to find out though. i don't even have his number!
i've been so busy with school that i haven't had enough sleep for almost a week now. or maybe someone's just been thinking about me non-stop which accounts for the fact that i sleep at around 2 or 3am daily. haha. superstition bull! i have an exam & a report tomorrow, plus a meeting for the student council. this is driving me nuts, i swear!
look at my eye bags! sabog, mukha akong adik! are you drugs? *laugh trip*
jueves 13 de mayo de 2004 6:42:00 PM colorblind ~ counting crows
i watched cruel intentions on hbo the other day. *sigh* i'm impressed... well, i'm in love. anyway, i went to school this morning with a really bad hangover. to make things worse, the teacher of my first class decided to just not go to class today. *grrr* i could've spent more time lying on my comfy bed instead of hurrying up just to make it to class on time. last night's highlights? i didn't eat dinner so i got real tipsy after two rounds of beer-gin. i kissed jaymore. i got home at around 2. i cried myself to sleep after talking to someone for 56 minutes & 56 seconds on my celly phone.
i have to read halliday's functional grammar bull now. my head still hurts.
martes 11 de mayo de 2004 2:53:00 PM fuck it (i don't want you back) ~ eamon
see i don't know why i liked you so much
i gave you all of my trust
i told you i loved you, now that's all down the drain you put me through pain, i wanna let you know how i feel
[chorus] fuck what i said it don't mean shit now
fuck the presents might as well throw em out
fuck all those kisses, it didn't mean jack
fuck you, you hoe, i don't want you back
you thought you could keep this shit from me you burnt bitch, i heard the story
you played me, you even gave him head
now you asking for me back, you just another hag
look elsewhere cause you done with me
[chorus]
you questioned, did i care
you could ask anyone, i even said you were my great one now it's over but i do admit i'm sad
it hurts real bad, i can't sweat that, cause i loved a hoe
[chorus]
adrian, thanks for sending me this song. (sooo perfect!) & so, i'm almost over him. almost but not quite. last night, chito said he's proud of me because i'm moving on. ryan's taking me out in a little while for cigs. my guy friends rock! Ü
lunes 10 de mayo de 2004 6:25:00 PM crave ~ marc dorsey
it may look like i'm happy
but people who know me
they know that i'm not doing so well
i voted for GMA today. & i also ate a truck load of junk food. i also had thoughts of chap today. i suddenly missed everything. the way we'd bum. the way he'd kiss me. everything. i don't know how i'm ever going to get over him. inside, i'm wishing he'd come back but i also know that even if he did, the chances that i'd take him back are pretty slim.
i never gave him the chance to choose. i made the choice for us. the moment i found out about the third party, i promised not to look back. i lied. i've been looking back since then. i always wonder if i made the right choice & i wonder if he would've chosen me over her. of course, looking back isn't the same as going back. i don't think i would ever go back. things are different now. maybe my heart's been hurt too bad that i'm scared of going through something like that again. or maybe i just grew up. i grew up & realized that love can be sad. shit happens but it doesn't mean i have to regret anything nor should i close my heart to the possibility of love knocking once more.
someone better is bound to come along. i can feel it in my bones. Ü
miércoles 5 de mayo de 2004 10:56:00 PM hands to heaven ~ breathe
God give me strength when i am leaving
boys & alcohol = temporary bliss. so, it sinks in. chap wasn't even the cutest nor the smartest. he wasn't what my parents would've wanted but he was all i ever wanted. he was real. there was something about him that made my world stop with just one touch, just one word. we were real. i felt as if our love would never come to an end but it did. now it's time for me to let go.
i cried after reading what she wrote. i'm crying still. they're in love. i hope she makes him happy.
3:53:00 PM head over feet ~ alanis
& don't be alarmed if i fall head over feet
am feeling high today. it's a natural high. it's intoxicating. there was something about last night. may 4 is always full of surpises. two years ago, i met chap. yesterday, i met someone else! haha! Ü
say cheese! ayyy, fake!
martes 4 de mayo de 2004 12:01:00 AM even if ~ lea salonga
even if you mean the whole damn world to me
i can forget you, wait & see
i can be strong even without you
i can't waste my life forever hoping you'd come back to me
but deep inside i know i'll be waiting here for you
the fourth of may - 2 years ago, i met chap. 2 years ago, he wore his black polo shirt. 2 years ago, we first sat side by side & were too shy to say anything until he made me laugh. 2 years ago, he asked for my digits. 2 years ago, he claimed he just wanted to be with me. 2 years ago, love asked for a chance. i gave in... 2 years ago, i fell in love at first sight.
domingo 2 de mayo de 2004 4:19:00 PM slow jamz ~ twista feat. kanye west & jamie foxx
i like someone i'm not supposed to like. OMG. this is wrong. sometimes i wonder if i'm just on the rebound or if i really DO like him. i also like his cousin. someone shoot me, please!
friday night was crazy. i got drunk at aiza's place. saturday morning, i was the last to sleep at around 7am & then, i woke up on aiza's couch at around 11am. 4 hours of sleep & a terrible hangover = sabog, i tell you. after having lunch at aiza's, i played card games with carlo. i went home at around 4pm after beating his ass at pusoy dos. as soon as i got home, i took a long bath & watched tv. 9pm (or was it 10?), someone came over. he went home at around 5am. i slept at around 7am (again!), wondering if he got home safe. i woke up at 9am this morning = 2 hours of sleep. in sum, i've only slept 6 hours over the weekend. great, huh? no wonder i look so drained. uhm, i think i'm going to sleep early tonight. yeah right, whatever!
