lunes 28 de febrero de 2005 9:39:00 AM strong enough ~ sheryl crow lie to me, i promise i'll believe lie to me but please don't leave
i'm sick (again) but still beautiful anyway. i have new 'do & i'm loving it. so, allow me to be a little narcissistic. notice how shiny & flawless my hair is now. haha. i'm lonely. now, where did that come from? :( i really feel sick & i need someone to take care of me. :(
in my room.
just got home from a day with the fam.
i'm beautiful but lonely. well, one can't have everything, right? haha. okay, i'm officially being weird now! i don't know how to feel anymore. the sad reality is that my vanity can't fill the hollow feeling inside anymore. i want to be in love & to be loved back. i need someone i can fall madly in love with. i don't just want anyone. i want someone who'll make me laugh & make me cry. i want to look into his eyes & get lost in them forever. i want a world where nothing else matters except for our love. & in the end, i just want to be the one who matters the most to someone. damn. pathetic. haha. pagbigyan na, may sakit eh.
domingo 27 de febrero de 2005 3:54:00 AM cupid ~ 112 you won't know unless you give it a try
it's better this way? if you say so.
you don't need to tell me twice, i understand. i just feel sad. it never even began but it's over. when i think about it, i know where you're coming from but it still hurts. things will never be the same. never. i lied when i said we can be friends. we can't. not now. not tomorrow. i wish you never happened. it was a mistake right from the moment you made me smile.
you're not strong enough to let love happen. one day you will look back & wish that you didn't turn your back on the possibility of love.
jueves 24 de febrero de 2005 5:20:00 PM all behind us now ~ patti austin cause it's all behind us now cause we learned to live somehow without each other & it's easy to see, it ain't never going to be the same again
people, people, move on! when i blog about chap or jaymore, it does not mean i am still holding on to whatever we had in the past nor am i in love with them. for crying out loud, give me an effin break! i write about them because whether anyone likes it or not, they were a part of me at some forsaken point in time. so stop asking me Qs like, "si chap?" or "nabuhay si jaymore?". GET-OVER-IT! i can not help it if i dream about them or if i see them randomly on the street & i suddenly have the urge to blog about whatever. do not bash me, do not hate me, just let me be. i'm actually pretty happy thinking about someone else now & so, please get rid of your chap/alla & your jaymore/alla mindsets already. it's driving me up the wall, i swear.
on to better things, i have a job interview on tuesday so i am skipping my teaching responsibilities for that day. after which, my fellow STs (student teachers) & i are going to give out our resumes to schools within the QC area. yikes. i feel so yuppie-ish. wish me luck.
miércoles 23 de febrero de 2005 11:29:00 PM ironic ~ alanis morissette isn't it ironic, don't you think?
"peter pan came one night & invited me to never land where i can never grow old. i was about to go but i refused. know why? because i thought of something better to do and that's to grow old with you." thank you, this message will probably have me smiling even in my sleep.
Your Brain is 60.00% Female, 40.00% Male
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve
we were about to put down the telly because i still had to finish my lesson plan for monday's lesson. so, before ending the call, our conversation went something like this...
[ him ] i don't want to keep you na. [ me ] you don't want to keep me? awww. [ him ] uh, no, no. [ me ] i'm hurt. [ him ] *stutter* (i forgot exactly what he said but it went something like...) you're not really mine so i don't exactly have anything to keep.
i could be yours, you know. haha. who knows? haha. i hope i bump into you come saturday. *smile* goodnight world.
martes 22 de febrero de 2005 5:04:00 PM the story of 2 - ashanti baby i'm thinking about just what i wanna do i don't care if i'm wrong, i think i'm in love with you & all of my friends say that i'm moving too soon i don't care what they say, i wanna give myself to you
congratulations! you got hired yesterday. i told you i was your lucky charm. haha. i deserve a kiss for being your inspiration. haha. & thanks for sending me the format of your resume last night. i really do appreciate it. & oh, about the other night, i'm sorry i lost my cool with the whole don't-bash-my-friend bit. it was half my fault, you know. i was just a tad too sensitive that night.
i had a dream about chap last night. OMG! weird, he went up to my room & we kissed. that probably explains why i was in a terrible mood in class today. haha. i asked my students to do a writing activity & they were noisy & i was like "do pens talk?" whoa, ma'am alla, chill.
lunes 21 de febrero de 2005 12:02:00 AM i could fall in love ~ selena i can only wonder how a touch of you would make me feel but if i take that chance right now, tomorrow will you want me still? so, i should keep this to myself & never let you know i could fall in love with you, i could fall in love with you & i know it's not right & i guess i should try to do what i should do but i could fall in love, fall in love with you
i am pissed! damn, damn, damn. how about a little respect for my friends? hmpf! & to make matters worse, i still wanted to talk to you but nooo, you wanted to go to bed already. fine, so maybe you do need to sleep already but damn it, i still wanted to talk to you! am i so selfish for wanting a little bit more of your time? waaah! thinking about you is driving me up the wall.
yet the reality remains, i like you. i think about you more than i think i should. someone told me i shouldn't go for you but i can't help myself. you're something too good that i just can't ignore. i can't give up without even trying. you get my drift? i could really fall in love with you. you, you, you! damn you! you make me want what i can't have so much more every single day. damn you! it makes me happy anyway. the irony of you, of us.
domingo 20 de febrero de 2005 5:31:00 PM sittin up in my room ~ brandy i'm just a mess with a thing for you
i am supposed to be getting a fabulous new 'do right now but i am stuck at home. my haircut was scheduled at 3 pm but i watched two weeks notice on hbo instead. pffft. what a waste of a perfectly nice sunday. & i so wanted to get my nails done too.
hey you! i am thinking of you right now. too bad i fell asleep last night, we could've "bumped" into each other at libis.
jueves 17 de febrero de 2005 8:01:00 PM twisted ~ keith sweat i know i got what you need so what you wanna do?
you got me at hello. you got me at hello. that's what you did. *melt* isn't life grand? so, i met someone i actually like. as in like-like. we connect. it's as simple as that. now here's the catch, we can never ever be together. isn't life grand indeed?
he's funny & he's sweet. he's smart & he's possibly one of the most interesting persons i've ever met. it's not fair! i feel so helpless & so wretched. he will always remain as the fantasy that will never happen. he's the maybe that i can possibly only have in my next lifetime.
why did you have to be so damn you? i wish we met ages ago.
people say that things happen for a reason. i don't know why the hell we had to meet but what i do know for now is that i like you. we'll just have to see what eventually happens. who knows, who knows.
martes 15 de febrero de 2005 1:16:00 PM can't you see ~ tiffany can't you see this is all a big mistake? i should try & walk away but i need someone to hold me & i know there's no way that this can last still i know that if you ask me to i know i would stay tonight, just for tonight
how weird. so we can never ever be, him & i. how weird. last night, i did enjoy talking to him though. how weird. it almost feels like i'm back in high school, anticipating his next move & not knowing what i am to do next. how weird. oh dear lord, i am actually thinking about him! please do not let me get more interested in him than i already am. it's too complicated. how weird, indeed.
via ym last night, rj & i were talking & were making plans. if i do get a scholarship in the US to study or whatever, he's going to take care of me. sounds exciting, doesn't it? still, i'd eventually like to stay in the philippines & serve my country. it's true, i swear. (this is probably UP's effect on me. haha.) anyway rj, let's just cross our fingers & hope that i do get to study in the US. i miss you already. it'd be great to see you.
lunes 14 de febrero de 2005 7:21:00 PM get this party started ~ pink
roar! i'm always sick, sick, sick like a bitch! damn it. i went home early today from school & fell asleep from 3 pm - 7 pm. great, just effin great. i woke up to find my two mobile phones with a gazillion sms messages & a few missed calls. i'm supposed to be out right now but i am just so, so, so sick. my tummy's still not right. i was supposed to go to the doc with my mom this afternoon but i fell asleep & she didn't get in touch with me either. she prolly forgot. oh well, whatever.
happy V day, everyone! stay happy, stay in love. :)
sábado 12 de febrero de 2005 4:35:00 PM ugly girl ~ fleming & john
i'm sick. putang ina! panira ng social life itong health ko, i swear. yesterday, i went home right after my english class with 9 - silver. i got home at around 4 & i went straight to bed. i woke up at around 7-ish or 8-ish & my sister even fed me soup. awww. how sweet. seryoso! then i fell asleep again after drinking medicine & i woke up at around 9 this morning. i was actually feeling better kanina pero ngayong hapon, leche! masama na naman pakiramdam ko. mamatay na yata ako. nasusuka ako & mali talaga timpla ng tummy ko. bad trip! may kasalanan pa tuloy ako kay anton dahil nood sana kami kagabi ng movie. nahihiya tuloy ako sa kanya. ayoko din kasi ng gano'n eh, yung may plans tapos dein matutuloy. sorry, anton! as in sorry talaga. i will make it up to you. name it, you got it! basta kaya ng powers ha!
i'm sick & bored. i'm sick & bored. i'm sick & bored. my eyes are beginning to hurt na from looking at the monitor. damn it!
jueves 10 de febrero de 2005 9:28:00 PM everytime ~ janet jackson
i'm scared to fall in love, afraid to love so fast
new layout. & yes, that's me (lookie left), making a face slash pa-cute. haha. my tummy hurts. it must be something i ate. waaah. today was a good day, i think. i was already in school at around 7:30 in the morning & i left at around 5:00 in the afternoon. WTF?! 9 hours ++ in school? something seems terribly wrong there. haha. well, goodnight world. oh, & hi cliff. (just in case you get to read this) *smile*
miércoles 9 de febrero de 2005 11:40:00 PM let's get it on ~ marvin gaye
so come on, come on, come on, come on, come on baby
stop beating around the bush
hey, let's get it on
i'm in a bitch ass good mood today. i had a good day in school - ma'am gerbie gave her students the finger. haha. i also had a great night afterwards - the mcdo fish fillet dinner wasn't even bad. *sigh* i just got home & i'm idiotically pleased. thank you! & that's that. chill, alla, chill.
lunes 7 de febrero de 2005 6:45:00 PM kaleidoscope world ~ francis magalona
i got angry at my students today (which i sort of promised myself i would never do). i just couldn't contain it anymore. they were so noisy & uncooperative. i know i've always believed that respect is earned & not just given kaya nga damn it, i think i've earned a bit of respect already. i've been working my ass off since november just for them. the least they could do is show some respect when i'm talking. oh well. thing is, i was also a student not too long ago & i know how fun it is to just chat away with my friends & ignore the teacher. i know my students meant no harm & that's why i love them still. whatever. sometimes i think i'm just too nice to be a teacher.
having dinner with the fam tonight. can't wait to get yummy japanese food into my system. *drool* haha. oh yea, we (the fam & fam friends) went swimming yesterday. saturday night - unlimited videoke with ate ands, aiza, & ate sharon. fun! feeling singer. haha. napaos ako.
viernes 4 de febrero de 2005 7:58:00 PM don't let me get me ~ pink
i'm a hazzard to myself
note to self: don't blog about specific shit anymore. keeping this blog led me to the truth i was scared to hear. well, i heard it & i'm actually fine. it's no biggie really. uhm, nevermind. no names, no details, no nothing! him & i, nothing, nothing, nothing! & that's that.
i have to do so many things over the weekend. fuck! i'm still going out tonight though. haha. anyway, today? i watched the movie version of to kill a mockingbird twice. man, that gave me a headache. it was all good though. i actually liked the movie, believe it or not.
martes 1 de febrero de 2005 2:15:00 PM all i want ~ inoj
i don't want no headaches
& i sure don't need no heart breaks
so if you think that you can handle it
give me all your love, give me all your loving
me: i don't know what to think when i think of you.
him: awww. don't think then.
me: okay, i won't.
WTF! can someone seriously say dense? whatever. it's partly my fault anyway. maybe i was giving him wrong signals or something like that. sunday night, i did kiss him. was i so wrong for doing so? *sigh* maybe he's just not the one for me. i don't think we're looking for the same thing right now. *argh* as he said, just go with the flow. yeah alla, shut up & just go with it.
i'm sick. yes, i know i'm sick but this time it's for real. i'm physically sick. i have the most fucked up fever for 2 days now. i don't know what's worse - thinking of him or being sick & missing class. damn it. i bet my students miss me already. ;)
